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You can’t help but throw your head back and laugh. This was the week chocolate was racist.

Whatever next? Bobby Brown? Coffee? What about white things like Milkybars, polar bears, snow? It doesn’t snow in Africa – also racist. Everything is racist.

If it wasn’t so catastrophically bad for society, it would be hilarious, but “liberal” racism has become a performance art – and for some reason it’s getting airtime.

In an ode to Hans Christian Andersen’s fairytale, a dark chocolate duck in a trio of Waitrose ducks was called “ugly”, the white one “fluffy” and the milk chocolate one “crispy”. It was offensive to around two people and was swiftly removed and relabelled. Waitrose apologised.

Had the white duckling been called ugly, would that be offensive? You wonder why companies pander to a very small number of shrill people (women) when tens of thousands would just eat the thing.

Katy Perry recently apologised and removed “offensive” black shoes from her range, which included eight other colours.

Stevie Wonder “never thought of being blind and black as a disadvantage”, yet predominantly white female graduates see black people and other minorities as pet victims they need to protect.

Such thinking is judgemental, stupid and, according to a new book, ‘The Coddling of the American Mind’, it is also bad for your mental health. Authors Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt state that three great “truths” woven into American childhood and education – what doesn’t kill you makes you weaker; always trust your feelings; and life is a battle between good and evil people – contradict basic psychological principles about well-being.

They argue: “Embracing these untruths – and the resulting culture of safety-ism – interferes with young people’s social, emotional and intellectual development. It makes it harder for them to become autonomous adults who are able to navigate the bumpy road of life.”

Offended parties can’t differentiate between impact and intention, assuming everything is good versus evil and don’t allow for human “error” like Joe Biden “invading” Lucy Flores’s personal space back in 2014 by kissing her on the head.

Even children learn from a young age if they didn’t mean to do something, it’s not that bad. Finger-wagging is infantilising.

Also, cognitive behavioural therapy informs that what other people do is none of your business. Hair-trigger responses without due consideration get in the way of any real discussion about prejudice, causing further division and isolation.

The harm comes from the fact it dilutes and distracts from the energy that must go into confronting real racism.

Rather than call this out, online fanatics see racism in ducks and clothes.

I predict the left will cannibalise itself due to rampant offence culture.

Watch this space: the 2020 US elections will be marred by allegations against Democrat white men. Bernie Sanders is next. He’s had the effrontery of becoming a millionaire after writing a book and working his ass off. The Democrats will hand the presidency to Donald Trump because his supporters don’t get offended by chocolate.

Conservative US black commentator Candace Owens called out the Democrats’ “relatable” style, which saw Hillary Clinton offer a black audience hot sauce, and New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez put on a southern drawl: “It’s insulting. Do they think we’re so stupid that we only understand broken English? It’s disgusting, elitist feminism. Blacks, Hispanics and all minorities should reject their implicit bigotry.”

There is a simple solution to reverse racism. Public figures and companies should stop apologising – 87pc of people thought the duck thing plain stupid, listen to them.

Children grow up in mixed cultures and accept everyone yet suddenly, when they get older, they are told to walk on eggshells, causing insecurity and low esteem. Mental health problems among young people are higher than ever, even in Ireland. This offence craze must be ignored, so people can focus on calling out real racism, while eating chocolate.


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