So how’s everyone’s first PC Valentines Day since #metoo panning out?

I can’t help but picture some poor dude trying to write a card to a chick he admires from afar. Do men still send cards? Maybe an e card. Either way, does he have to get a lawyer to ensure the contents aren’t deemed degrading to women?

Is fancying someone still allowed or will some angry chick with short hair and flat shoes pop up in your dirty thoughts going- ‘#metoo.’

How will this romantic Hallmark holiday will survive an onslaught of enraged third wave feminists I ponder.

Alarmingly, a recent poll by the Economist magazine found that well above 25 percent of people aged 18-30 thought that simply complimenting someone on their appearance is sexual harassment. Of the young men surveyed, a quarter believed that something as innocuous as buying a drink is considered a potential sexual crime.

So no drinks, no compliments. Great. So glad I got my hair done. Delighted to go Dutch too. Fabulous. Should I be an early 20s millennial, my date could go as follows: I bring a consent form, then I cross question my date about how he feels about the suffragettes, the plight of the Rohingya muslims and armpit hair. I go home after no one makes the first move and hang my douchebag date online. Then the Twitter nazis come out to judge. If he tries it on, and I go along with it, but decide I don’t fancy him after, I can claim coercion to consent.

What the hell is wrong with women? By nature, we like strong men, and yet we’ve created a generation of males who are afraid to buy us a drink in case they get a Cosmopolitan poured all over their nuts or worse, a lawsuit.

We’re more capable than men, they just have more confidence, yet for some reason, women want to instill fear because they’ve bought into this post Marxist feminist narrative. What insecure people they must be. I’ve always felt equal to men, so I don’t have to shout it from the rooftops.

Anyway, the upshot is, that men, especially those in their 20s and 30s are not just weak, but filled with self doubt. Is that what we want? A pussy who wants to split the bill and says nothing funny.

These feminists should take a trip to South Africa where I’ve been living for a while. Here, men pay for everything, even if they’re just dating. They pay for women’s phone bills, travel costs, fags, champagne, clothes, the works. They even get pocket money. Everyone knows that these are the dating conditions and men seem to be OK with that.

While the husbands play golf with the boys and someone else altogether minds the kids and does the housework, the ladies go to gym with the girls, get their nails done and have lip implants that look like two hot dogs on top of each other.

Men traditionally don’t like independent women who can think for themselves, have a sense of humour and know how to put together a flat pack, so they prefer this kind of thing. It appeals to their alpha male, hunter gatherer ego and makes them feel superior, therefore empowered.

In Ireland however, men have read the feminist memo that they don’t have to open doors or offer a lady a seat anymore. Then they tell you..’well you asked for it. You wanted equality.’

When I was pregnant, older men and women got up and gave me their seat more regularly than young men. Fair enough, they were busy staring into the ground, headphones in place, but still. They may have thought they’d offend me by offering.

Please no. Send us cards, show respect, compliment us, buy us dinner. I mean, I can’t even remember the last time I got a wolf whistle for crying out loud. Not a peep, even in tight jeans and boots.

Bill Maher summed up the whole thing when he said on his show, that #metoo was creating a police state for sex. He blamed ‘f***ing fragile’ millennials. “I think of them as emotional hemophiliacs and the rest of us have to be so careful around them’.. ‘They’re going to bleed what is so great out of life.’

The threshold for what is considered harassment and assault is getting wider and has created unreasonable expectations. We live in a time, where sex is becoming a dirty word. It’s like the priests. Soon the hard left will suggest there be chastity belts, no alcohol on dates as it can lead to poor decision making and no more Valentines Day- sure it’s like the Botticelli paintings or the grid ladies at the GPs who went around in hot pants. Lets just get rid of that stuff. Like actual nazis.

I know that not all women are part of this crappy movement, so I’m not including them in this particular rant, but for the rest of them, stick on some heels and red lipstick and shut up.

As for men, be fun, be edgy. Women don’t like easily offended numpties, they like guys with personalities and opinions who can do cool manly stuff.

Should you be a real man on a date with a victim feminist with hairy legs rabbiting on about repealthe8th and white privilege, excuse yourself, walk out the door, go to the pub, drink pints, let her pick up the tab.

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